"Wait a second," you must be thinking. "Are you trying to tell me that I can wake up in the morning, say the magic words, 'My life is great!' and all will be well?" Of course not. We must be realistic. Life is life - we have work to attend to, bills to pay, mouths to feed, and children to clothe. Yet realism doesn't need to eclipse optimism.
Research has shown that changing the way we view, or perceive, a stressful event changes the effect of the stress on us. We can give an experience positive meaning. For example, if our child is diagnosed with autism, we can view it as an opportunity for our family to draw closer together rather than a crisis that will drain our emotional and financial resources.
This doesn't make your problem go away - but it will change your feelings about the issue. Look for the positives in your situation. You will feel less burdened and more empowered. You will be acting upon your situation!
Learn from your child. Let them learn from you and feel your love. Above all use warmth and patience. Encourage your other children to do the same.
Below are additional tips to help you in your quest to re-frame perceptions. We wish you the very best of luck!
Helpful Hints to "Re-frame Perception"
1. Acknowledge and accept the diagnosis or other stressful event
2. Acknowledge the long-term implications this event has for your family
3. Make a list of your personal strengths
4. Make a list of your family strengths
5. In times of stress, take a "calming moment" - breathe quietly and deeply, and think clearly
6. Access other sources of support as appropriate - relatives, friends, community groups, etc.
7. Recognize the positive outcomes - "What strengths are being built in our family?"
8. Love each child - involve them in the caregiving of your child
9. Focus on being a warm, responsive parent
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